That's the way it's suppose to be?

Elroy McConnell II and his family went on a much needed family to beautiful St. Petersburg, Florida.  McConnell, the father of three sons, Elroy III, Nathan and Kelly.  Elroy had arrived from Louisiana with his wife and their just months old son Elroy IV. McConnell wrote on his Facebook page; "They're all really great and unconditionally supportive."  That was on the afternoon of Saturday July 31, 2010.  Sometime that evening McConnell and his three sons went for a guys night out to see the movie Predator.  They never returned.

Around midnight at the corner of Martin Luther King and 22nd Avenue, McConnell was traveling was bound on 22nd avenue when a south bound Chevy Impala, driven by Demetrius Jordan, blew through the intersection at a high rate of speed. The impact of the collision sent the Ford Fusion being driven by McConnell crashing into the sign of the corner Seven Eleven. All four of the McConnell's were pronounced dead at the scene.

Demetrius Jordan, 20, is the second of of four children.  He graduated from St. Petersburg High School  where he played on the marching band drum line and even gave drum lesson to children at Mount Zion Progressive Missionary baptist Church. A college student with no criminal record and described as a quiet and humble man.  He had a life of potential and promise. Now he is facing four counts of manslaughter and his life is in ruins.

I cannot even begin to feel or understand the great sense of loss the McConnell family has experienced.  No way I would even want to feel that.  I am angered by the results of Demetrius Jordan's poor choice to drink and drive. Personally, I feel drunk drivers get off way to easy.  It always seems they can walk away unscathed while the Innocent are carted off draped with a sheet. Personally, I can understand the anger that would want a person to lash out in retaliation to the person or persons who inflicted such loss.  But, that will not right anything that has happened and will not change what has been done. 

And, what about Demetrius Jordan?  A young man of promise and potential.  Now facing unimaginable problems.  There is no way I could even begin to feel what he is going through right now.  He no longer wears a marching band uniform, but a prison jumpsuit. He will not be living in the college dorm, but in a cell block.  He will not be attending college with his friends but will be living in a correctional facility.  He will wear the label of convicted felon for the rest of his life. 

There is no way anyone can tell me that this was suppose to be.  There is no way anyone can tell me that this was fate.  There is no way anyone could tell me that "it was their time".  That is just plain lunacy!! What kind of sick twisted world do people who believe that kind of stupidity live in?  They will try to tell me that it was God's will.  God's will?  What kind of screwed up God to they worship?  This situation had nothing to do with God.  It had everything to do with a choices.  A young man with potential and promise climbed into a car and chose to drive under the influence of alcohol.  That one bad choice set into motion of chain of events that ruined the lives of the McConnell family members, his family, and his own life. 

No.  This was not the way it was suppose to be.  This was not God's will.  This was not fate and wasn't the way it was suppose to be! So, if this event teaches us anything, it is this: your choices not only affect you, they affect others as well.  Four men are dead and three women widowed by a choice made by a stranger.  A family now must now cope with seeing their son in prison and dealing with the public outcry he has caused. Communities, churches, college campuses, and places of business will now feel the loss caused by a bad choice.  Never believe that your life is your own and what you do doesn't affect anyone else.  Don't live your life that way.  Because that is not the way it is suppose to be. 

Hitting a Fast Ball!

In the early 1980's I was a college student in Houston, Texas.  And, it was during this time that I developed a fondness for Houston's Major League Baseball team, The Astros.  While I was working at night to pay for my schooling, KTHR would broadcast the games live on the radio.  It helped pass the time and got me familiar with a man by the name of Nolan Ryan.

Nolan Ryan pitched 27 seasons for the New York Mets, California Angels, Houston Astros and the Texas Rangers.  Ryan was an eight time MLB all star and holds the record for most career strike outs at 5,714. Ryan was a hard throwing right handed pitcher with pitches at over 100 MPH even past the age of 40.  Thus the media tagged him with the "Ryan Express".  There was nothing better than to watch Nolan Ryan throwing the heat!

Though Ryan holds the record for most career strike outs, there were still those who connected with that speeding orb and knocked it out of the park. That is amazing just think about. What is more interesting is that according to Yale University Physicist Robert Adair hitting an 90 MPH is a mathematical impossibility!  A 90MPH fastball travels 60.5' (the distance between the mound and home plate) in 400 milliseconds. According to Adair, it takes 200 milliseconds for the batter to find the ball once the pitcher releases it.  It takes another 100 milliseconds for placement.  Meaning, this is when the batter determines where he will hit the ball as it comes whizzing toward him.  Then the actual decision to swing and follow through takes 150 milliseconds.  That is a total of 450 milliseconds to hit a ball that covers that distance in 400 milliseconds.  It is a mathematical impossibility. Yet, it happens.  And if you are a baseball fan you have seen it happen. 

What does it mean?  It means that despite all of the fact and figures we are all creatures of hope.  We all have inside of us the belief that we can accomplish anything.  Look at all of the technology advances made since 1900.  Many of the things we enjoy today, someone said they were impossible. But,we have them and use them every day.  What some said would never be...IS.

What impossibilities are you facing today?  What dreams, hope, aspirations have you allowed to be buried because you believed the notion that they could never be?  You will never hit it out of the park if you don't try.  You maybe thinking that you only have three strikes then you're out!  Here is the truth:  God is the umpire and when it comes to you and accomplishing your dreams He will allow you to swing until you slam the ball over the wall!  The only thing that can limit you from doing what others say is impossible is you.

I challenge you to step up to the plate.  Look the pitcher right in the eye and tell him to bring on the heat!  Then swing like a wild man!  If others have done it so can you. It can be done.  But you have to try!

Write your life.

"...Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it."
 Habakkuk 2.2 KJV

One of my favorite quotes comes from the movie “Lawrence of Arabia”. After Lawrence and his men make a long and arduous journey through the desert, they stumble into an oasis to refresh themselves. Upon arrival, it is noticed that one of the camel boys is missing. Lawrence mounts his horse and is preparing to ride back into the blistering desert to retrieve the boy to safety. He asks for help in the search, but his men refuse. They all declared that the boy is taken by the desert and it is futile to go after him. Lawrence insisted that they must find the boy. His men replied that the fate of the boy is God’s will. That it has been written and they cannot change that. Lawrence, angered by their ridiculous belief rides into the desert to find the boy alone.


After several days, Lawrence appears on the horizon with the boy. They collapse in the shade of the oasis and take water to refresh themselves. His men all gathered around to see with their own eyes that Lawrence and the boy had indeed returned alive. Lawrence looks at his men and says, “Nothing is ever written unless you write it.”

That is a powerful quote! Too many are living lives that they have allowed others to write for them. They feel they are prisoners to a way of life, circumstances, culture, disadvantage, or socio-economic status. They feel that there is absolutely nothing they can do to remedy their situation. Their mantra is “it is what it is.” As they attempt to make sense out of their dysfunctional reality. Reasoning and rationalizing in an attempt to dull their emotional, spiritual, and mental anguish.

Understand this: your destiny is not set in stone. It was not painstakingly chiseled out and predetermined for you. The one who writes your story is you. “Nothing is ever written unless you write it.” You have the power to write things out and to write thing in. You have the power to change the outcome. You have the power to take a bad story and make it good. It is all in your hands. The pen is in your hand.  How will you write yoru story?

Flawed

Flawed


You have heard of the four R’s, but have you ever heard of the four C’s? Chances are if you have ever shopped for a diamond ring you have. The four C’s are: cut, clarity, color and carat weight. The value of the diamond is determined by these four characteristics. The better each if, the more valuable the diamond will be. But, here is something that I think most jewelry sales people fail to tell their customers. No matter how valuable a diamond is, every diamond has a flaw. Yes. Every diamond has a flaw, just like every person does.

The whole concept of flawless perfection, when it comes to people, is a pipedream. I know that there are religious people out there laboring for perfection. They subject themselves to all sorts of disciplines in an attempt to be perfect. And each time they think they have achieved it, something happens to remind them they still have flaws.

When this happens, guilt comes in and sets up camp. Compounded guilt produces shame. Shame will bring feelings of inadequacy and inferiority. Then the self loathing starts. “I am worthless”. “I can’t do anything right”. Now you have diamond that is so focused on the flaw that it fails to see its real value.

Now, understand I am not attempting to give license to behave anyway you want and excuse it on your flaws. We should continually be working on the things that bring value to our lives. What I am saying is, don’t beat yourself up every time you have to deal with your flaws. Guilt and shame have no place in your life. When you mess up (and you will) deal with it. Admit you were wrong and take action to correct that behavior. And, exercise forgiveness.

Forgiveness should be something we practice on a regular basis. After all, everyone is made from the same dirt and we all have flaws. We should not only learn to forgive others, we should also learn to forgive ourselves. When was the last time you forgave yourself? Could it be that we have a hard time forgiving others because we fail to forgive ourselves? Forgiveness simply means to let it go. When you are faced with the reality of your flaws (and you will be) deal with it and let it go! Forgive yourself. You will find that by allowing forgiveness to flow into you, you allow it to flow from you. Remember Jesus said that the two greatest commandments are to love God and to love your neighbor as yourself. If you cannot love and forgive yourself how can you love and forgive anyone else? The more I invest in me the more I have to invest in others.

Flawless perfection is a pipedream. Stop trying to achieve it! You have flaws. Come to terms with that. You are a diamond. Let the world see your value.

Better Thinking Better Living: Where was I thinking?

Better Thinking Better Living: Where was I thinking?

Overcoming Obstacles

Overcoming Obstacles


Obstacle: something immaterial that stands in the way, impedes, holds up progress. They create complication and conflict. They are barriers. And, we all face them. E. Joseph Crossman said, “Obstacles are things a person sees who take his eyes off the goal.” Frank Clark said, “If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably does not lead anywhere.”

Having anything of value in your life will be fraught with obstacles. In fact, obstacles are necessary for success as victory is achieved after many struggles and countless defeats. There will always be a reason why you cannot achieve it. There will always be a barrier as to why it cannot be obtained or be done. A new recruit looking at the daunting gauntlet of the obstacle course before him, feels “there ain’t no way I can do that.” But, before basic training is completed the obstacle course will be beaten! In life you will face obstacles. That is a given. What remains to be seen is, will you succumb to or overcome the obstacles?

So, why do people choose to be held down by obstacles rather than overcome them? Why do they choose to be bound to something they detest? Why will remain where they are so close to what they want to have and be?

1. Failure to take responsibility—In John 5 is the story of a man who had been laying near a pool of water that was believed to hold healing properties. An angel was said to come down at certain times and stir up the waters. Whoever would step into the water at that moment would be healed. This man had lain beside that pool for 38 years! He blamed his continued condition on there not being anyone there to help him. Your success depends on YOU! It is solely your responsibility. Jesus did not ask him “do you have anyone to help you?” He said, “Do you want to get well?”

• Accept responsibility for where you are. Accept your role in the way things are (whether you contributed to it or not)—end “the blame game and woe is me game”. Nothing you can do to change the past. But you can change your future!

• Accept responsibility that happiness is a choice—end the “who will make me happy game” Happiness is not contingent upon externals, it is determined by what is inside of you. Paul said; “I've learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I'm just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I've found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am.” Philippians 4 Message Bible

• Accept responsibility for your thoughts, feelings and actions and end the “I can’t do anything right” game. If you can change the way you think, you can change the way you feel. If you can change the way you think you can change the way you act. If you can change the way you think you can change your life.
2. Failure to Believe—Faith is essential for anything to change. You must have faith for a better future. You must have faith for a brighter tomorrow. You must have faith that things will get better!

• Truth is not enough—if truth was enough, then why are you where you are?

• Anointing is not enough—if anointing was enough, then why are you where you are?

• You must have faith that your life will turn around!

• Your perspective will determine your reality. Your perspective will determine whether you overcome or succumb. Feed your faith!!

3. Failure to Act—when instructed the man to pick up his bed roll and walk, the man had two choices: stay where he was on obey. This is perhaps, the strongest reason why people stay where they are. They fail to act. You will miss 100% of the shots you fail to make.

• Faith without corresponding actions is useless! Are you willing to be shown [proof], you foolish (unproductive, spiritually deficient) fellow, that faith apart from [good] works is inactive and ineffective and worthless? James 2:20 Amplified

• The journey of one thousand miles begins with a single step. Get up and start moving! The longer you fail to act, the more you cement yourself to where you are

We are only as hindered by obstacles as we allow ourselves to be. There are countless stories of how people have overcome insurmountable odds and achieved success. And, if they can do it so can you and me! So, take responsibility for where you are, believe that you were born to succeed and get up and moving!! You will find that there is a miracle inside of you!

Where was I thinking?

Where are your thoughts taking you?


Have you heard the expression “his brain is in neutral”? I take that to mean that a person’s brain is running, but going nowhere. There are lots of revving, smoke, vibration, allusions to power, and great expenditures of fuel, but nobody is going anywhere.

It is a shame, but we all have met or known someone with their brain in neutral. A person with great potential and natural ability who could easily succeed at anything they wanted to do. But instead of moving toward success and achieving something, anything, they live a life that produces absolutely nothing. They are always working on the next big thing. They are always talking big plans, big ideas they are going to do this, that and the other thing! These people have great aspirations but their biggest challenge is just getting out of bed in the morning. What’s up with that?

The problem is focus. If there is no sense of purpose then one feels no need to move in any particular direction. An aimless life is the result of aimless thought. Thoughts that are unfettered, free to think about whatever they wish whether good or bad, profitable or unprofitable will lead a person nowhere. There must be a desired destination for one to reach—a purpose. If there is no focus, no purpose, one will live a life devoid of any real significance. “Aimlessness is a vice” declared James Allen that should be avoided because it leads to destruction.

Success at anything is not an accident or a fluke. It is when preparation and timing intersect. One must be constantly moving toward their purpose in life in order to fulfill it. To reach your goal you must not allow yourself to think or meditate on those things that would detract you from reaching it.

Here are some things you can do to get your thinking on track:

1. Get a goal, get a purpose. Without any direction you will get nowhere. There is a story of a farmer who had a big get together at his farm. During the festivities, he invited a friend of his to accompany him to the barn. Once there, the farmer took him to the rear exterior wall of the barn. The wall was decorated with hand painted targets on it. In the center of each target was an arrow. The friend said to his farmer friend, “you are a great archer.’ You hit the bull’s eye every time.” The farmer replied, “No. I just shoot the arrow and then paint a bull’s eye around it.” Unfortunately, this is how some people live their lives. They just take a shot and hope it hits something. Purpose provides your life with a target to aim for. It provides you with direction. Imagine taking a trip to a particular destination, but having no map or instructions on how to get there. That is a sad way to live. Setting a goal, determining a purpose, will provide you with a destination. Purpose gives your life direction.

2. Make your purpose the focus of your life. Everything we experience on the outside was first determined on the inside. Our thinking affects the way we see the world and how we interpret events and circumstances. If we believe that we are destined to live a mediocre life, we will live such a life. It is vitally important that we find our purpose and build our lives with the desired result in mind. This is not as easy as it sounds. Each of us is prone to a particular way of thinking. Our thinking is the result of years of experiences that have created our belief system. Therefore, to fulfill our purpose, we must undo all of our previous ways of thinking and construct a new way belief system. It will take more than wishful thinking to change your life. It will take focus. A marksman must intentionally set his sights on his target. He cannot randomly discharge his weapon and expect to hit the bull’s eye. Marksmanship is all about precision shooting. The marksman must take into consideration such things as; stance, range, accuracy of weapon, accuracy of ammunition, wind velocity and sight adjustment. Any one of these things, if not taken into consideration, can result in missing the target. Does a marksman ever miss his target? Yes. What does he do? The marksman makes adjustments and refocuses. Your purpose is your focus. Zero in on it! You will miss the target from time to time. When you do, just refocus and make the necessary adjustments and you will hit the target!

3. Understand that accomplishing your purpose can be achieved by effort and practice. I had injured my right arm lifting an object. Upon medical examination, it was determined that the bicep tendon was severed and surgery was needed to reattach it. This meant that I was facing a long recovery time. My normal range of motion was severely impaired. Lifting my arm was strenuous and using it for long periods of time, was unthinkable. I had been accustomed to working out with weights three times per week. After the surgery, I could barley lift a fraction of the weight I had previous to the injury. The road to recovery would be a long one. Yet, I was given hope by my health care professionals that the normal use of my arm would indeed return. They informed me that by working the arm little by little I would regain range of motion and strength. And, as it turns out, they were right.

That same principle can be applied when it comes to accomplishing your purpose. Exercise it little by little. Just as physical stretching keeps muscles and joints strong and pliable; stretching yourself to achieve your purpose will do the same for you mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Be patient and practice over and over again. Then one day you will achieve what seemed impossible.

4. Purposefully change your thinking—purposefully incorporate positive influences in your life through associations, reading materials and positive affirmations. You are more likely to succeed if you have a mentor. Mentors are a brain to pick, an ear to listen, and a kick in the seat of the pants to get you up and going. If you are to fulfill your purpose, you will need mentors in your life. It is imperative that you have a positive network of individuals in your life who celebrate you and challenge you to grow and be better.

Feed your mind through ingesting materials that challenge your thinking, motivate you to success, and inspire you to reach higher.

Positive affirmations serve by helping to undo dysfunctional belief systems that may be plaguing your life. You cannot change thought by thought. The way to change a thought is by changing your words. By changing your words you can effectively begin to change your life. Man is the only creature given the ability to bring what he thinks into reality. This is part of our divine nature. In Genesis chapter 1, the bible tells us that man was created in the image and likeness of God. God saw the world dark and void and His thoughts were expressed into words—“let there be” and it was so. We, who are God’s image here on earth, have the ability to think and speak and turn those thoughts and words into being. Jesus said, “For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says.”(Mark 11:23 NKJV)

Where are your thoughts taking you? If they are moving you closer to failure than success, change them. You are the captain of your ship! Where do you want to be heading toward? Only you have the power to change you. And, the way to change your life and the direction it is taking begins by changing your thoughts!