Monday, May 24, 2010

Flawed


Flawed


You have heard of the four R’s, but have you ever heard of the four C’s? Chances are if you have ever shopped for a diamond ring you have. The four C’s are: cut, clarity, color and carat weight. The value of the diamond is determined by these four characteristics. The better each if, the more valuable the diamond will be. But, here is something that I think most jewelry sales people fail to tell their customers. No matter how valuable a diamond is, every diamond has a flaw. Yes. Every diamond has a flaw, just like every person does.

The whole concept of flawless perfection, when it comes to people, is a pipedream. I know that there are religious people out there laboring for perfection. They subject themselves to all sorts of disciplines in an attempt to be perfect. And each time they think they have achieved it, something happens to remind them they still have flaws.

When this happens, guilt comes in and sets up camp. Compounded guilt produces shame. Shame will bring feelings of inadequacy and inferiority. Then the self loathing starts. “I am worthless”. “I can’t do anything right”. Now you have diamond that is so focused on the flaw that it fails to see its real value.

Now, understand I am not attempting to give license to behave anyway you want and excuse it on your flaws. We should continually be working on the things that bring value to our lives. What I am saying is, don’t beat yourself up every time you have to deal with your flaws. Guilt and shame have no place in your life. When you mess up (and you will) deal with it. Admit you were wrong and take action to correct that behavior. And, exercise forgiveness.

Forgiveness should be something we practice on a regular basis. After all, everyone is made from the same dirt and we all have flaws. We should not only learn to forgive others, we should also learn to forgive ourselves. When was the last time you forgave yourself? Could it be that we have a hard time forgiving others because we fail to forgive ourselves? Forgiveness simply means to let it go. When you are faced with the reality of your flaws (and you will be) deal with it and let it go! Forgive yourself. You will find that by allowing forgiveness to flow into you, you allow it to flow from you. Remember Jesus said that the two greatest commandments are to love God and to love your neighbor as yourself. If you cannot love and forgive yourself how can you love and forgive anyone else? The more I invest in me the more I have to invest in others.

Flawless perfection is a pipedream. Stop trying to achieve it! You have flaws. Come to terms with that. You are a diamond. Let the world see your value.